I think this is it!!! what do I do??

[itsy]

Take a very deep breathe and another one.....You will be fine.

Now since you really aren't sure where the check is and for whom don't over analyze it. Take a break from the madness...if only to go out with those girls and boys of yours.
You can sit all day and analyze and analyze and still nothing.
Some of them do go to a lawyer but never file.. never proceed...
Some have been in divorce mode for 2 years and still nothing.If it comes you have a lawyer. If you want to proceed with the D go ahead it's your choice, however if you don't want a D go to your lawyer and tell him so.. that you will not help in any way so H can get his D. And it's him that wants it and you should do absolutely nothing to help him only do what you need to do for yourself. If you don't want a divorce tell the judge or his lawyer that.. NOTHING. Absolutely nothing for him!

Protect yourself. Protect your finances. Make sure that he is not draining bank acounts, taking big sums of money and showing nothing for it...Use only one credit card if you have to. Otherwise protect yourself by taking your name off the account.
Remove you name from all bills regarding the house. You will need to protect your self. I know you don't want to hear these things but we are only looking out for you, we are your friends that will help and guide you thru this nightmare. We have been before you and know more. Take advise or don't that is your choice. You might need to see a therapist and get Ad meds. Just hitch up your bootstraps and move, the sooner you get a life make your own decsions and protect yourself you WILL feel better.
One more thing.... don't talk to him right now about anything regarding marriage or relationships etc to him. NEVER mention the other person
you will be giving them power...the op..

You will be okay one day, your just not okay today... saying that to yourself helps alot. Hope that I helped and didn't scare you always feel free to post here....ITSY