Hello, I had another post but thought I would get in on this one. I definately can identify with the desperation. I think having a good support system is very important. Good friends, family and most important God. My son is 8 and is having problems because of all of this. My daughter is 11 and we have become very good friends through all of it . My husband first left first of Jan came back for 4 days Jan 31 went back to OW to live with her on Feb 5th. It truly is an addiction and it was just recently I backed off. The first week I backed off didnt go very well because I was still a negative person. The next week which was this past week of March 5th, I started being friendly and holding my tongue. There were times I would have normally spat something about OW and I didnt. I did notice a few small baby steps. The thing I have noticed about my husband and this is because our cells are in my name, is I am finding it odd that he has to call her when he gets here or is on his way and call when he leaves here. He has to check in with her like a little kid. From what I can tell his OW is a bit controlling and I am assuming it is because of her own insecurities. She has two divorces already under her belt and three kids that do not live with her. She only sees them briefly. Everyone has told me that it will die a natural death. I have been told that anyway, Everyone has told him that it wont work so he is just trying like hell to prove us all wrong. That is why I dont bring her up anymore. I found out that I can only change me. I am going to church every week, I am taking a class offered here that is free based on Joyce Meyers Battlefield of the Minds( I highly reccomend this book), I am getting on with life. Since I have stepped out of the roll of wife and into friendly acquaintance , I have found myself feeling better. I try not to talk on the phone when he is at her apartment with her because that is when he is short with me. He works nights so when he goes to work often he calls. Last night he called at 9 40pm(after his squad meeting he is a cop and his OW is a dispatcher) I let it ring and go to voice mail. I figured if he wanted to talk to me he would call back which he did call back about 30 mins later. He told me goodnight"honey" also but once I checked phone of course there was a call to OW. Just some background on OW she had a hysterectomy Feb 26th and is off work for 6 weeks. She is real good at emotional blackmail and manipulating him. Of course he is leting her but she has been around the block and knows more how to get to him. I have her number, hoping he wakes up one day real soon before our kids are further traumatized and gets her number too.
