Reply to Lil I'm NOT saying you're justified in hurting her back, but you certainly are justified in ending the act and saying something (nicely) like "Let's try this again when you're more into it. That would have been better than what I did. At least what I did, wasn't to gloss over the situation like I sometimes do.
I am looking forward to a do-over and won't wait several weeks.
And then either MB right there or go in the other room and do it. I think MB right there would be looked upon as an insult and doing it in the other room sort of chicken.. I should have stopped and redirected.
I think everyone should use Astroglide. The stuff is miraculous. I like it too. BB has some reservations about it but has not come up with anything different. I have some thoughts about taking her to an Adult-store and looking around.
1. ..I do not take HRT and have no intention of doing so. I haven't noticed any changes in my desire level or physical "abilities." Smoking! WTG! ^5. Lucky doll!
Some women are lucky and I am glad you are one of them. I read stories post menopausal females (PMF) posted, saying the felt liberated and extra sexual=110% sexy. On the other end of the scale I read about other women think/feel like life is over for them=0% sexy. If you are in the top percentage, I would say BB is in the lower 25%.. Her being picky, and me catering to her doesn’t help. I see what I have to continue doing.
2. I Don’t have UTI’s so can’t address this. Before; Burns like heck when you pee. Pee every 3 miles till you arrive at the clinic to see the Dr, sit in the clinic’s waiting room, get checked out, drive to the drug store for meds, then relief was at hand.
Now; I got a pee kit from the clinic and some Uristat http://www.uristat.com/shorthed.htm Now it’s burn to take a pee sample, take the uristat=burning stops, drive to the clinic, wait your turn get the exam/give them the sample, fill a Rx, go home.
In the before case, it was emotionally difficult to see BB go through the whole burning phase. For a while, most of the time we had sex, the memory of what happened last time she had a UTI took most of the pleasure out of having sex and the emotional connection that should normally have been there turned in to more anxiety every time we had sex. Some anxiety is there for BB even though she has not had a UTI in over a year.
3. Took tamoxifen for 5 years which depletes natural hormones Some women tolerate it well, some don’t and some couples call it the Divorce drug. When BB was on it for 5 years, she tolerated it well, a little vaginal drying, but not much. She started taking it 10 years ago and quit taking it 5 years ago. So what is the problem you/I ask myself? Supposedly it has long term effects and damages some tissue and makes a person age faster.
I can’t prove it is a problem for BB and I can’t say it isn’t a cause of some of her problems. I read some/most women get past this problem but “some women” doesn’t mean BB will fit their pattern.
4. This is absolute crap. It is HER opinion and HER experience, but crap WRT the general population-- and that's MY opinion based on me and my peer girlfriends. It would be nice if BB had friends like yours. Hers are in the other camp, that talk what a problem it is to be older. You want some female company???? BB would love your cats and dog. Just kidding.
5. 5. Other physical and mental problems Self-absorption, tunnel vision, emotional stinginess...? Some reality and lots to do with her pickiness. Looks like I have more work to do on myself and cut back on some pampering I do.
Ill health on the part of one partner definitely changes the intimate zone of the marriage. My hat is off to you for all of the things you did for your late H.
The more I look back on that, the more I wish we could have overcome both our tendencies to pull away because his stuff was getting more and more scary/exhausting. I can imagine it would have been a big help to have something similar to this forum.
Lil, my reply was mostly information from what I have read and experienced, and not intended to be excuses.
I am still interested in BB seeing the world of sex and emotional connection in a bettwer light, for her and myself.
Mojo How 'bout saying "Yeah, baby, I'm soooo enlarged it's a f*cking emergency. I'm going to park my car and I don't care if there's a legal space. Gonna ram right through those concrete barriers so buckle up, BB." Well, that is how a good top acts and feels. Wish I would have thought about something like that the other night. Jenny, when I read that I almost cracked up. Very good come-back. No excuse, but when BB’s top barely gets off the ground, if I get going too high, I lose her.
Onetime I did the acting fake (real for me) noises, moans, OOOOOOO’s pre orgasmatic sounds some female porn stars do. I was about to cum and was tired of the “mister reserved” delivery I sometimes do (fairly vocal most of the time) that one time. I got loud because I wanted to. I was hoping BB would be thrilled. I don’t know if she was. I do know it didn’t scare her off like I was concerned.
I got the typical “I hope the neighbors didn’t hear that” from BB and my response was “I hope they did.”
Cobra, I have more work to do today so have to get back to it. thanks for the reply. My reply tomorrow.
