It's all coming clear to me now, as if someone has opened a page for me to read and comprehend.
I see the Judge has to feel that everyone is either lying or telling the truth. He had/has no idea if my children have been able to spend time with xh and his wife, nor any time in CA. He made the best possible judgement he could. He made sure both chidren experienced time with them here and CA, so when they come back they will know if they want to spend any time in CA for the Summer. He probably also figures since xh asked for airfare and his legal fees paid by me, he is just out to get me, along with the fact this situation will not be resolved in mediation... so when we are back in court, he will ask to speak with the children, as he will receive first hand information from two children who know what they are talking about. At that time, he will make his further decision about the kids visitation. I feel certain of this, and at peace with this concept.
In the mean time, I will prepare for the same course of action. Understanding that there probably will not be any resolution in mediation, I will prepare for the up in coming Hearing, where I will have all the documentation I need that xh and his wife live in a fantasy, have lied their butts off, have used the system to further manipulate me, hurt me financially, and at that time, allow them to be fed their consequences from the court. I will also be on my toes from now on in, having a witness to everything I do, so xh will have nothing else to use against me.
This is my game plan. Although I may sound as though I am out for revenge, I am not. I am out to clear my name, but in doing so, I will end up exposing all of his lies. My desire, is to expose enough of xh's lies that his attorney finally drops him as a client.... then at that time, I will be able to live in peace, feeling he won't be back to haunt me. He and his floozing wife can live happily every after..... as far as I'm concerned.
He told the court that I am the one who is unpredictable, that I have not allowed him to have the children, that he feels unsafe when he comes out to the farm, because of me, and that is why he needs the children dropped off at the police station.
I am as predictable as the sunrise, even when my children are away, they know exactly what I am up to, and where I am. When he comes out to the farm, I stay in the house, as it is he, (and she) who are physically aggressive.
Since this morning, I've been given a plan on how to proceed. I found it in my heart once I began to relax after hearing from the kids. It began to formulate, one step at a time. Although I thought I had been asking for help and accepting support, I now understand I had not put myself out far enough to receive the full spectrum of both that has been offered to me. I see now, I must have faith, as I open up my life and my heart even more.
My life has been full of secrets, ones I've kept to myself. I need to learn to share more of my burdens in order to allow others to share the load, in order to let the rest of it go. This is how I will learn trust again, even trust for myself.
The documents are complete, I just need to pick them up, as I know just where they will be found.
Take care of you, God Bless
Love,
Laughing
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
