I had to cross this bridge with my W too, though not in regard to money but with the kids. My wife did have a lack of trust in my abilities as a father, but not because of anything I did, but because of the difference in our philosophies coupled with her FOO based fears. In essence, she was holding me responsible and making me pay the price for her issues. I see the same thing going on with MrsHD.
HD does not help his case any by being irresponsible. ADD or not, he can and MUST address all her concerns if he wants to truly disarm those defenses of hers. IT iis just like Heather selling her truck. It doesn’t matter whether Mrs HD’s concerns are valid or not, she is going to hold on to them until he addresses them.
Once he does however, she will not have much to hang her hat on. She will try to come up with new excuses. This is where I put my foot down and told my W she was not respecting me and was trying to control me. She said she did not trust me to make the right decision, but I told her that as an adult, I have the right to make WRONG decision if I so choose. Her idea of right may not be mine. For her to use such a defense is to take away of right of free will and that is just going way too far.
Hairdog, there is a sound logical basis in this argument that you CAN put up to your wife, but you need to address your past errors first.
