I wanted to show I can do something different by being willing to end a session early and let BB know being disconnected was something I didn’t like.
I thought you said you didn't want to stop mid-act because you didn't want to hurt her feelings. I'm saying that chattering during the act shows that she has no consideration for your feelings. I'm NOT saying you're justified in hurting her back, but you certainly are justified in ending the act and saying something (nicely) like, "Let's try this again when you're more into it. I'm just going to take care of myself right now so I can sleep." And then either MB right there or go in the other room and do it.
How is she going to know that her behavior is inappropriate unless you give her some kind of signal?
Re the 5 things. Since I'm post-menopausal (since 1999), I feel qualified to comment.
First, Lou, I disagree with this statement: Those 5 things reduce the pleasure and/or increase the discomfort for most all women .
1. Less natural lubrication so we use Astroglide. I think everyone should use Astroglide. The stuff is miraculous. I know that for some women/couples there's a feeling of failure if she doesn't produce "enough" natural lubrication. Phooey! Buy the stuff by the gallon. It's fabulous. I have used it (when the opportunity presented) for decades.
2. Post menopausal and no HRT. I'm post menopausal and also do not take HRT and have no intention of doing so. I haven't noticed any changes in my desire level or physical "abilities." I have longer/stronger O's than I EVER had in my 20's-30's (even when self-induced). Maybe I'm an oddball this way...
3. More UTI's as she got older till we found some steps to reduce/eliminate them. Don't have UTI's so can't address this.
3. Took tamoxifen for 5 years which depletes natural hormones made in the brain. Fewer hormones lead to poor vaginal lining flexibility. Typically women need more warm up time but have to want to have sex. What is needed is co operation from both partners. The H can't supply all the foreplay and direction to overcome the W lack of interest. No experience with this either.
4. BB's basic feeling that once past a certain age almost all women don't like sex and if the H does, he has his priorities in the wrong place. This is absolute crap. It is HER opinion and HER experience, but crap WRT the general population-- and that's MY opinion based on me and my peer girlfriends.
5. Other physical and mental problems Self-absorption, tunnel vision, emotional stinginess...?
Ill health on the part of one partner definitely changes the intimate zone of the marriage. I experienced this with my late H. The more I look back on that, the more I wish we could have overcome both our tendencies to pull away because his stuff was getting more and more scary/exhausting.
