Reply to Cobra: What do those 5 physical discomforts have to do with restoring intimacy in your marriage?
Those 5 things reduce the pleasure and/or increase the discomfort for most all women. Maybe Shmagic wants to chime in here a little. I remember her saying intercourse on a physical level was a problem for her
If you want first hand information from a female’s POV have a private or public exchange with someone menopausal, that has had a hysterectomy, had breast cancer, took anti-cancer drugs for 5 years, and can’t take anything that contains hormones, including bio-identical hormones.
No, I don’t see any reason whatsoever how her “predicament” prevents you from breaking down your barriers, building intimacy and having more sex. Sorry, don’t see any connection at all. She just had sex with you, didn’t she? Did she complain or did you?
1.The connection is reduced/lost when physical problems are introduced into the R. 2. I have moved in a direction to just do it, got thicker skinned, ignoring some of BB verbal resistance I would have really been concerned with in the past. I am less hesitant about pushing through her resistance. 3. I am doing the hand holding even if BB pulls back some because I want to, instead because I want to get her in a better mood
Sure BB had sex with me. I am not complaining about the fact she did or didn’t. I want more than tab "A" in slot "B" sex. It started out good but wasn't going well after a while. Same stuff, different day, BTDT but I want different outcomes.
I wanted to give a picture that things were going well up to a point, and that point was when the flow changed directions.
Maybe I over emphasized the disconnect/disappointment too much. I wanted to say to the readers that I was disappointed the sex wasn’t better but also say or imply I wasn’t going to continue having disconnected sex like I used to put up with at times.
I wanted to show I can do something different by being willing to end a session early and let BB know being disconnected was something I didn’t like.
I was looking for input, did I over do the termination process or over do letting BB know why I ended the sex earlier than normal.
I was giving an example to other people what it takes to forge through one’s own fears and what might be in store for them if and when they make moves to overcome their own and their partner’s resistance.
Several times this difference in sex drive feels like Mother Nature played tricks on both of us. Just letting people know, as have others, people encounter problems in life, the older one is, the more sexual problems there are in the general population. Some of the problems might be a part of your R someday. Hopefully not. Just a heads-up.
Lil Lou said ever hear of someone zoning out because they didn't like sex? I wasn’t saying it is right, to zone out, but that I could imagine it happens for some people regularly, especially is they don’t like sex.
I might think about something else, or fantasize about something else, but I wouldn't talk OUT LOUD. I agree, BB shouldn’t have been chattering out loud about different non-pertinent subjects DURING THE ACT.
I will do some more re-direction or something to let BB know those outside topics distract from the moment.
Thanks all for your input. I have to work the R with BB, one step at a time.
