Corri, IMO before passion there must be respect. Also, if I remember correctly, finances have been an issue since early in the marriage. HD deceived MrsHD about the amount of debt he brought into the marriage, and his checking account got out of hand. Which brings us to why MrsHD is in complete charge of the pursestrings and treats HD like a teenager on an allowance.
She currently has no respect for him.
Her career is more intense, so she doesn't hold his career in high regard.
He didn't handle his finances in a fully responsible way, so she doesn't hold his decision making capabilities in high regard.
She has assigned household duties to him and calls him at work to chew him out when the bathroom towels aren't hung just so, so she has no respect for him as an autonomous adult.
She has little to no respect for him as a father without her overbearing guidance, hence her corrections of him ranging from pudding in the fridge to getting her permission before he can get his daughter from the church nursery to telling him that he can't take his daughter around his ex-wife - with little regard for the juggling that occurs when sharing co-parenting duties with his ex.
She has caught him in several deceptions, so she has no trust for him.
I don't think the suggestion to get control of his finances was prep for divorce as much as trying to get him in a position of being an equal adult in this relationship with the maturity to handle his checking account and finances well. To get him in charge of something, since she is currently in charge of *everything*.
If he made some large purchase without her input, I think she would view that as that HD being deceptive and financially immature.
I totally agree with the idea that he needs to carve out some HD time/activities that aren't under her purview.
