I don't think you should continue the convo with your W, HD. I also see it as very optimistic. I'd let things lie.
I would not yet follow NOP's advice. That is too confrontational for your particular W. She would go into full battle mode.
If I were you, and I am dead serious... I'd go out and buy a sail boat. I don't care if you can afford it right now or not. FIND a way to afford it.
The reason I am saying this is: your W wants to ML with you willingly... she seems to very much want to experience desire with you, but sees her life as too full of stress and fatigue to do so. In her mind, there is nothing about her life that she can change in order to get to that level of desire with you, and still maintain her life as it is.
You guys are stuck in routine (aren't we all). With a few exceptions here and there, one day largely looks like the next. Of COURSE she is stressed and tired... we all get stressed and tired with monotany.
She needs passion. So do you. Introduce passion. She may get pissed as hell at you for buying the boat... but she isn't going to divorce you over it... not like she would if you keep pressing on the sex issue.
You need to find ways to break her routine without making her feel threatened. One of the reasons I was LD was because I was BORED with life. Instead of finding productive ways to end my boredom, I created DRAMA (cut my H off sexually... that was nice drama, wasn't it? Certainly got his attention).
We all want to be engaged actively with life. You two are not engaged actively with life. Do something completely unexpected... the reason I am suggested the sail boat is because you are passionate about that... and I think your passion for that would be transmitted to your wife (once she gets over being pissed that you spend the money. But she will get over it... and you are going to start making her feel stuff again.
