I'll leave the timing up to you, and again, I do like Burg's advice to wait a smidgen (like maybe until Monday?), but just speaking for myself, here is how I would respond if my wife wrote me:
Quote:
I appreciate sharing this with me. As I said to you, approximately one month ago, I do not think I will ever want to make love on a weekly basis, at least not while we are both working full-time and raising a family, and even after that, there are no guarantees. At least right now, though, I am too stressed and tired much of the time. If I did so simply to satisfy your needs, it wouldn’t be making love, at least not from my perspective. For me, making love is an act that we both do willingly. While I might try things to make myself ‘willing’ more often than I would if left to my own devices, putting some sort of schedule or required number of times to make you feel loved isn’t going to work for me.
Do you remember talking about this? I get frustrated because it seems to me we keep having this same discussion over and over. You say you ‘get it’, but if so, why do we keep coming back to this? If this is a need you have, so be it, but I can’t satisfy it – I just can’t. I do love you, but if you can’t be happy with who I am and what I’m willing to do, that is your choice, and I respect it. I think you need to do some soul searching, and if you can’t be happy in this relationship, then we both need to move on. I am tired of this – Love, MsHdog
My reply would be:
" _________,
I'm not looking for guarantees; I'm looking for your sincere effort. Effort to not just understand that "this is the way Hairdog feels," but honest effort in trying to at least meet me halfway.
I need to feel loved, not "understood." I've told you 100% honestly what I need to make myself feel loved. Like it or not, this is who I am, and I won't apologize for being this way.
If making love 1x/week is too much for you to give me right now, then please let me know what would be reasonable, that you can commit to, to demonstrate to me that you're at least willing to work at saving our marriage.
I think you'll find me to be more flexible than you think.
