I think this is it!!! what do I do??

[missmyfriend]

I want to add that you have every right to know what is going on in his life, even now but the dynamics have changed. You need to ask yourself each time you want to do something, anything that you normally took for granted before, "is this something that is good for me. Will it cause damage to myself, my children, my husband or anyone else?" If the answer is yes, DON'T DO IT!!

There is no justification for doing something that is wrong. You will mistakes but forgive yourself and move on. Don't lie to yourself. Choose what is right, every time. You then can look back with the knowledge you took the high road. Nice guys/girls may finish last but they finish with style, grace, character and are happy with the way they ran the race. You never hear about that side of that overused phrase. People who finish first but hurt people along the way are unhappy people. People who hurt others are hurting inside.

If you have to get angry about your sitch, go ahead! Make it a righteous anger. Do it in private but get angry. Get angry about what is happening. Get angry that you let yourself be controlled this way. And then forgive yourself, your husband, the OW, anyone that you hold anger toward.

You know what I am still pissed off at? Worldly influences. I don't know your spiritual background but I believe that I can choose to listen to God and what He clearly tells us will give us joy as opposed to listen to those who are against Him and having joy. Don't allow this to happen to you.

We are here for you so keep allowing all the negative stuff to be posted here. Keep it from your girls. Keep it from your friends. Keep it from your H and the OW. Share it with your C and with your spiritual advisor. If you don't have a spiritual advisor, find one that stands for marriage and the DB techniques. Call one of the DB coaches. They are great.

Sorry for going on so long but I can see you are hurting and you have plenty of company here who cares about you and your daughters. Hang in there!

P.S.Do not allow this sitch, as difficult and horrible that it is, to steal your joy. Standing for your marriage also means standing for yourself. God does not want you to take all this onto yourself. Give it and all the pain to Him. Look at your daughters faces and you will see Him there. That is what I do. I look at my kids faces and the pain subsides. And, yes, I see their mom's face their but it gives me comfort because I see the woman she was, not who she has become.

You are loved. Never forget that.

MMF