That, just maybe, someone never expected that lightning bolt of intense love to hit twice, but SUPRIRSE! It has, through NO ONE'S fault!
Well, if that's true, and there are other people you could feel intense love for, why waste your time and feelings on someone who is already involved in another relationship and in the midst of raising a child? As you've pointed out, you can always fall in love with more than one person. These feelings are obviously transient. I don't mean to sound flippant, but would that take too much effort? Is it just easier to go with this guy because he's convenient? Or the feelings at this moment are just too intense?
Just because you haven't "coerced" him into a relationship (I'm sure you haven't discouraged it), you do have a choice who you choose. Why bother with someone who is torn between you and another person? If he chooses you, he will come into the relationship with a huge amount of baggage and grief over the woman he has history and a child with, and who he will have left behind... or will "cheat with" while supposedly with you. If he loves her like you mention he does (he loves two women) that's almost certainly going to happen. He has had strong feelings for her before and will most likely have them again. My guess is you have a good chance of being part of a triangle for maybe a loooong time. Wouldn't you want more out of a relationship? Why share? Gosh, if I were single I'd want to be with someone who was free to love me entirely. Aren't you worth more?
