Ummm...even if H brings it up....I would change the subject....it will create emotions and possibly cause you to go off on a tangent....you know start asking more then he tells... So...just say...we don't have to discuss this right now...or...I would rather discuss this another time,now it is not good for me.
I would say for you right now to find a counselor who agrees with what you want to do...but will focus more on you and what you want to accomplish then on helping you fix the marriage...right now you just need to leave the M/R alone...get yourself on strong ground...
The counselor that I went to helped me to work on becoming emotionally more attractive....learning to be happy on my own....to see MY successes and embrace them as MINE....to work out who I wanted to be....she managed this with me in just about 3 or 4 sessions....and then that was it....I was ready to work...
So when you talk to a counselor....put the focus more on you...and even if down the road you and H decide to try counseling I wouldn't use the same one that you used for individual counseling as the counselor might be more biased because you were there first...you know?
Good gool....NO TALK about R or OW....and I know as easy as that sounds for you it is going to be big....but you can do it...remember you have asked the questions and gotten the answers...respect him and accept them...write them down and read them when you need to....
There is still hope....and regardless of there not being much research on Michelle's work...well, I am proof...so are others here....and it makes sense when you consider how the girls that "played hard to get" were most wanted by the guys...why??? Because they had it together and that was attractive!!!
