I think what happened, Muddle was that you said "I'm not willing to do anymore because you didn't give me advance notice" so it comes across as "I am punishing you for your misbehaviour". What you want is perfectly reasonable. I might have said "I was really looking forward to biking today, in future could you tell me a day or so ahead so I can plan my time accordingly" Would it have made a difference, who knows. I think the reason you didn't want to compromise was not because she didn't give you warning (though still a valid expectation) but because you wanted to ride your bike and she was attempting to thwart that in favour of her own needs.
I'm just thinking out loud here, I wonder if you had of bent this time but made clear that you need warning in the future, would that have been acceptable to you? You would be meeting her need this time but also putting forward boundaries for the future. I also wonder if it's worth bringing this up with her a little bit later. "Hey, that discussion didn't go so well, both of us were unhappy with the outcome, how could we avoid this in the future? Could we plan things in a different way that works for both of us?" She might have a suggestion (like stick the calender up your butt )and you can put forward how you would really value getting a day or two advance notice. I know, I'm a dreamer but you gotta be something!

Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White