Thanks ROOT you are such a doll. And so right I need to embrace evrything I am . That is exactly what I meant. I want to just be me and it is ok. I know this is something I need to grow into. I am really enjoying being me as of late and hope to keep growing as a human being and just be free of worrying about being perfect and so proper all the time. I laugh and smile more now than I have in years and it feels fabulous.... I just talked to H a bit ago and half the stuff that came out of my mouth ( all nice of course) I was almost like WOW that is MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE talking and I sound so Optimistic and Happy and Smiling the whole time and not b/c he has been nice.
.... just b/c I feel good about me. Now when he is nice it is icing on the cake.But it does not define me or own me anymore and it is freeing to love this way. Hard to explain but feels so free. The other day he got angry for example and i took a deep breath b/c his anger is his and let It go and he called later and was being a doll. The old me would have cried or crumbled , CALLED HIM TO TRY AND FIX HIS ANGER ETC. ETC. and just felt bad... NOT ANYMORE. Just being honest you know. .... cause I simply can not be the only Woman who does/DID these things.
... but living like that is not living. It is like you are just going thru the motions. Loving me and living in harmony with God is so much better. Living in the light and living with soul and spirit makes life so much happier and Richer. I feel so blessed and I thank God for always being there for me and guiding me to this Forum. You all are a tremendous support system to me. God bless... Thank you for your support. ROOT YOU ARE THE BEST! God bless YOU...
