I grew up in an emotionally volatile home. Both my parents liked verbal conflict; my father was a lawyer and a logical arguer; my mother would fight him on an emotional level. I was both intrigued by the drama and frightened of it. My brother escaped but I remained part of the triangle, where I was often the "judge" of their interactions.
Like Mrs. Nop, I remember thinking to myself when I was young that I really wanted a peaceful home. I married a quiet conflict-avoider. I felt in control. However, I missed the verbal sparring of my childhood, and found myself provoking my H. He never reacted in the way that either of my parents had, and it was confusing. So I would up the ante. This pushed my H even further away, and he would become jerky and sarcastic in return.
A huge 180 for me in my marriage has been to drop the drama. We are civil and kind and polite to each other now, and it is so different. It's a wonderful positive change, and I am still getting used to it. But I still miss some of the verbal stimulation from the past...maybe that's why I hang out here!
