No Contact for the sake of Sanity

[brandnewday]

CM
My Husband and I have reconcilled.
It has been a very long and hard battle.
We have both been through hell and back.
BUT... I think we are now both better people for it and have learned alot along the way.

[Cinderellaman]

BND !!

Do you really have 8 kids ?????!!!! WOW -- SUPERMOM !!!

[Cinderellaman]

BND !!

I am so glad that you reconciled !!!! I couldn't be happier....I hope you will guide me through my time here...your story seems a glorious miracle to me !!!! Thank you for entering my life ! I feel that God sent me a guardian Angel !!

[brandnewday]

Yep, it's true!
And they are all wonderful and have kept me going through this insanity.

[brandnewday]

((((((CM))))))))

I am no guardian angel, I was just a foolish woman who refused to listen to those much wiser then me until I finally got shoved on my arse.

My story is a miracle.

Many here remember the stuff my Husband would say or do to me. I think he was once voted the absolute worst MLC'er on the board.

Now I hear the I love You's, now I am treated very differently.

It's a process......

[angelica]

CM - it is true about BND's h - he used to write the most awful things - he could have coached Lissette's h! YR's h wasn't a sweetheart in MLC either

Personally I think it is healthy that your h is angry. It is getting to him. TAKE NO NOTICE. Do you remember when your kids were small [and still are, I think?] that they could have tantrums and scream and tell you that they didn't love you anymore? Well part of your h is a toddler right now, and teh other part is a moody self obsessed adolescent.

Angelica

[Cinderellaman]

Hi BND,

I hope you don't mind me posting this.....but I found an e-mail that your H sent you about a year ago.....and now afJUST GOT THIS EMAIL FROM MY DH:

I am angry at you because you are someone who is only cooperative when things go your way. You wonder why I am "being nice" to you? It is because I fear your wrath and your sense of entitlement when it comes to my life. That is not love. You still don't understand. I am feeling less of the pressure than I used to from your wrath. But, I am very uncomfortable with your knowledge of some things in my life...like my social security number for instance. I don't know at what level you can show self-restraint. This is the truth which I believe is hard for you to hear. I am sorry. I want to work with you and be a partner in seeing the best for our kids but I am not interested in maintaining a marriage with you. I have given you no indication I have changed my mind. If you want to be ugly about things then that is your way. It only proves you have not grown or changed. I don't want to be lectured or threatened or preached to or manipulated or made to do anything I don't want to do or have to do. Most of my life has been spent living it for other people's needs or fears or prejudices. I want a chance to drive my own life. This is an old conversation. I have told you over and over again where I stand. Your therapist has told you. Move on. I do not want to be your husband, but I do not want to be your enemy. No one made this choice for me...I made it on my own.

I am not going to waste any more time on this. You can work with me to the benefit of our kids or you can work against me for the satisfaction of your own ego. It's up to you.
ter what you have told me.....Yes it is a MIRACLE !!!!

[Cinderellaman]

Sorry - and now after a year - A MIRACLE !!!!! This give us all so much HOPE ! Thank you !!!

PS. A lot of what your H writes, my H has said or written too....I guess their mind works in strange ways, I hope one day you will be able to post and help us out...telling us as much as you can about what your H went through and felt he thought trough it all !!!

PS, kisses and hugs for all those wonderful kids that kept you going !!!

[Cinderellaman]

Hi Angelica,

Thanks for popping in ! Yes I posted a letter that BND's H wrote to her a year ago, and now look....

I feel better - it's raining horribly outside, but the rain and tears and fears inside my head have stopped !!!

[Jeanette1120]

Hey Cinders

You do seem to be in better spirits!! I often go back and look at what I wrote and what several of my good friends wrote in the beginning....one of my closest friends actually told me off and I told them to never post to me again

We are seriously dazed and confused when this first happens, but the growing and blossoming I have on here are also miracles!

A miracle comes in many forms, you will have your miracle also

Much love

Jeanette