BeingMe, Yes, I actually feel much better today as if a great weight has been lifted. This may have been the closure I've been looking for. My thinking is that WAS's feel the need to be dishonest to cover for their wrongdoings rather that admit to them. Whatever, it was good to have the old w back for the final conversation and to end on my terms.
The pathway has become clearer now and and ready to face the future. Figure I have the triple Bs going for me, brains, brawn, and bucks. No bitterness towards xw but plenty for OM, he knew that he crossed the line way early and didn't care. In fact, I find it convienient to blame everything on him, may not be right but makes me feel better and don't have any anger towards anyone else. Gotta channel somewhere right? Have forgiven xw and harbor no ill will towards her just want nothing to do with her anymore for everyones best interest.
Am moving on to new memories, have a date Saturday with a younger blonde and met a brunette today that was giving me "the eye" so asked and we are going for coffee tomorrow. The memories are there and I'm not one go go and throw out or burn photos, just stick them in the attic or basement is my MO. One of the xw's "helping offers" if I moved back to CO was to go through the old things which I interpret as her wanting to take stuff which won't happen now. At first the memories of the things wev'e collected over the years weighed heavily from the connection but not now and would bug me more to know xw/om are sharing/enjoying our old stuff.
The boys are great and am comfortable that this decision will put them in a better environment than being around xw and om despite having to be separated from their sister. We'll see where things are in three years, maybe a different town in CO or maybe she'll decide to college in NJ for her Jr/Sr years. As always, thanks for the great words and thought provoking questions. RJ
