Really glad not to have that panic feeling today. For me that's the worst rollercoaster emotion of the lot. Since W moved out I actually haven't felt it that often, so maybe I'm lucky. While she was home and seeing OM it was a permanent fixture.
I deal with the panic as best I can by breathing exercises, trying to get some fresh air and searching out people to talk to or who make me laugh. As for my anger, I punched a wall but it REALLY hurt so now I use a pillow. I also have a photo of my W and I call it all the names under the sun!
I stood my ground with W over arrangements with D and she sent back a more positive text in the evening. It does help things when I stand up to her a bit. Pre Bomb our relationship was quite evenly matched on the whole but I was so scared of completely losing her post Bomb that I completely let her get her own way. Now she's seeing that I'm strong again which is good.
Interesting talk with my mum last night. She was innocently talking about how W was with D on Wednesday night. She said it was like W was trying to be D's friend. She didn't try to manage D's behaviour at all, letting her get away with things she wouldn't normally. In fact they pretended that D was the mummy and W was the child for over an hour!
I can understand why she would want to give in to D when she's not seeing much of her, but I remembered when my mum was talking that I'd read somewhere that MLCers will often try to be their children's buddy rather than parent. Am I imagining that?
I'm also wondering whether W's renewed interest in D isn't any kind of reconnection at all, as she's still in replay with OM, but rather D is her latest drug of choice.
