I don't expect everyone to agree with my thoughts nor my beliefs. Even I eventually disagree with my past beliefs and understandings as I have more experiences in which to question myself of what I formerly thought to be the truth.
I don't fully understand what you mean by external reality vs. internal reality. Could you please explain?
For me, what seems real may not be real for you, as we each have different perceptions of what has occured or what we sense. With my limited understanding, I'm not sure there is only one reality, but many different perceptions of reality.
Maybe there is one realiity. To me, it seems like deciding what is right and what is wrong determines reality. What someone believes is right could be there reality. If someone else chooses the opposite as right for them, then they believe that is their reality.
For me, it comes down to what works and what doesn't work. Is reality the "truth?"
When Gary Zukav was asked what is the truth? He said, "that which does not harm."
Please share with me your thoughts on reality as it may enlighten me to something I struggle to understand.
It is interesting the things a MLC spouse say to us at times. We often wonder, "where did that come from." What they say seems so foreign to a person who is not in touch with themselves and are so lost and confused. My XW told me that her leaving the marriage was not about me but was about her. There was something happening to her that she did not understand.
I do realize there are MLC spouses who have gotten back together and are living happy lives. At least that is what is seen on the surface. How many people do you know who are in MLC, had been walking around wearing the "mask" of everything is okay, prior to revealing that there marriage had been a lie and they never loved their spouse?
The Silent Sons of the world do not reveal their true feelings, just as the silent daughters go about smiling and saying I'm okay, everything is fine.
My XW had a beautiful smile that she used to protect herself from showing her true feelings. When people would ask her if she was all right. she would just smile and say everything is fine. She really surprised a lot of people when she revealed the fury of MLC that had been trapped inside of her for so many years.
Back in 1999 when I first came here I too thought MLC was an illness that could be cured. What I eventually realized, in MO, that it was not a disease or illness but was part of human emotional and spiritual development.
A MLC person did not develop emotionally during childhood and adolesence and now is having to go through a transition to adulthood where they go back and relive their youth before they can move forward. They failed to learn what they needed to the first time through life school, so now they have to return to a previous time to learn that which they missed the first time.
As I am understanding more fully, life is not lived on a linear line. We mark time as from birth to ones current age and eventualy death. Our lives are eternal, birth and death are merely transitions from the non-physical to the physical and then back to the non-physical world. We repeat this cycle over and over. What we don't learn this time here in the "Earth School" we will get an opportunity to learn the next time we pass through.
We travel forward, backward, side to side, up and down, around and around we go. Why does MLC feel like we are traveling on a roller coaster? Yes, our emotions are all over the place, up and then down. But maybe our lives are moving forward, backward and every which way possible.
The LBS spends a great deal of time living in the past. They talk about how the marriage used to be and the desire to return to those "better days." The LBS also spends a great deal of time in the futre. Saying things like; "someday we will get back together." Our not living today while waithing for that "someday" when everything will be good again keeps us stuck from living life.
The LBS really struggles living in the moment. I know this very well as I spent a great deal of time looking back to how things used to be and a great deal of time wishing for that "someday" when my XW and I would be together again. I din't want to deal with the pain in the present moment.
But by avoiding dealing with the present kept me stuck from moving forward. Eventually I realized for me that this was insanity waiting for something to change that was totally out of my control. I decided to take control of what was within my power and get back to livng again.
Whether a MLC person learns from their experience and grows from it will ultimately come down to "their choosing." God gives us Free Will to live our lives in what ever fashion we choose. We can choose to remain stuck in the past and blame others for all of our emotional problems, or we can learn to understand the connection to our past and present, learn from it, and then make choices that are more healthy mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
We all have the power to make choices. Some us will choose to make better choices, some will remain stuck in continually making the same old choices and wonder why sh$t keeps happening "to them."
