No, it is NOT ok with me. We had the almost the same exact converstation almost to the day 2 years ago in March. That is how it all started, so I feel like I have gone full circle back around to where I started and I am thinking the outcome is going to be the same. Unless maybe I handle things differently this time. (maybe just maybe - so frustrating - here we go again).
I tried to say no contact at all at one point and he threatened me to go right back and live with her explaining to me they have found a huge lump in her breast and they and she are not opptomistic - yea her working it all she can on him probably telling him she is going to die. She has been fighting ovarian cancer years before he got involved with her.
He called her today, (I am watching the calls) supposedly she was getting a biopsy today, then she called him and they talked for 17 min and she called him again an hour later and talked for another 13 minutes. I HATE it. My blood just boils. I feel like calling her up and saying BACK OFF Bit**, but H would probably walk right out my door , so I can't. (although that is the one thing i never did was get in her face alot, then maybe she would back off, but she would whine to him and I am pretty sure he would leave me and run straight to her because he feels sorry for her on top of the affair itself. aGGGHHHHHHH!
I fee like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place also because in the DBusting Remedy book isn't this exact situation covered and I am supposed to let him ease out of it? I'm pretty sure that's what it said. I'm trying everything the book says to do (within reason).
Maybe I should ask him tomorrow something like "So, how did her biopsy go and where are the gloves you wanted me to interoffice to her? (That way I can see if he has seen her or not too and he would know I was watching). But this is not a DBusting technique. Actually I think it would be doing the opposite.
And 2 years ago i did get involved to help her when he said at the beginning they were just friends and he was helping her and they both made fools out of me. I Hate her now because she pretended to be so sweet and innocent and was backstabbing me all along, too. I do not want to go through that again because it totally backfired on me. I think this time I would rather him know I am not ok with it.
But back to the Divorce Remedy book, isn't how I am trying to handle it what they say to do in the book, even if he is still cheating, I am supposed to respect his feelings and be his friend and be there for him? When some of you are telling me no way tell him this and give him altamtums isn't that going against the techniques in the book?
