I never said that EAs cannot be damaging. They most certainly can, and they can be every bit as hurtful as a PA.
What is damaging about affairs is the dishonesty. It is in the 'covering up,' for the person you thought you knew... is no longer that person. You no longer know where the boundaries are... you are now adrift in a sea of questioning everything.
I'm sure if your H had been honest with you, told you how he was feeling, told you about the woman, invited you to partake in the friendship... you may have felt differently. If you had told him that you were still uncomfortable, and he left his frienship at the office, and he was still honest with you... you may have felt differently.
His line of integrity is what vanished. It was not the woman or the friend appearing in his life. Eh?
