My H has admitted to an Ea only because I suspected a PA having been cheated on before. The feelings I have right now are exactly the same as if it had been a PA. An EA is every bit as damaging as a PA because love has been involved. On a rational level I can understand why my H had the desire/need to have this relationship it still hurts exactly the same way a PA does, I can accept that I had withdrawn emotionally from my H and take responsibility for my own actions and behaviour BUT (my H hates when I say BUT) instead of explaining to me how disconnected he was feeling from his family he chose to look elsewher for love while withdrawing affection from me. I have talked to him and have said that although I can understand him becoming involved in a PA although he has said he ended R it is unacceptable to me for him to remain friends with this person other than on a business level I believe he thinks its o.k. to stay friends. An EA is every bit as destructive as a PA maybe even more so as sex doesn't always involve love. I realise this EA is more fantasy than reality which is why I'm not filing for divorce plus my H has ED probs so can understand the need he has for this fantasy. He says the R has ended and I'm sure he has decided there is NO future with OW but once love has been declared he just doesn't seem to understand that friendship is unacceptable at least to me. Plus I'm left wondering if he's staying with me because I'll accept the ED probs as his W of 30 yrs where if he pursued the dream the OW wouldn't be quite so understanding.
