No-one shamed me. I have known about this issue for many many years but did not quite realize the negative impact. I just figured I was basically wired that way. I have that "Straight A" syndrome. I am positive that a need to protect my mother contributed but my mother did not ask it of me. I gave it to her to help her. And if I was not perfect, there were no ramifications from my parents. It was a self induced NEED.

Funny that I have very little shame in my psyche. Shame is one of my xH's issues and his parent's definitely did not shame him. This is why it is so hard for him to feel badly. The feeling of doing something "wrong" quickly turns into shame which is a horrible emotion. No wonder he deflected on me, huh?

I am still working at this with therapy and constant reinforcing. Raven is great because he has the right amount of respect for it (not just saying that I am crazy \:\) ) while constantly letting me know verbally and non-verbally that I am okay.



But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus