My opinion is that the tension did come from NOP. This is based upon my background and intuition. And while no one here may feel the same way I do, it does not change the FACT that I FEEL that way. As I said I felt tension the minute I read NOP's post. He chose to interpret, insert himself and respond to something that did not specifically address him and I find that interesting. Just because I see it that way in no way makes it a FACT that NOP was actually trying to create tension. It's just about me. I understand that others and you do not see it that way and I respect that. I think it is useful to understand how 10 people can read the same article and possibly have 10 assumptions from what they read. The facts are always the same but many assumptions and interpretations can be made. That is why I have tried to clarify that assumptions are normal and are hard to avoid. What I do personally is try to remind myself of the difference so I do not mistake an assumption for fact.
I am very aware that my posts are extra long and made even longer with my constant reminders of "my opinion", "I feel", "as I see it", etc. but even with all of those statements I still feel many people here read me as stating assumptions as facts. I did not and will not state that NOP accidentally or purposefully baited LFL. I am asking him what he intended. It did bait her whether it was intentional or not. However it is also just as clear that she freely chose to respond the way that she did.
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So... are you supposed to change Who You Are and what you do so I don't misinterpret or assume? No, for it was my problem, not yours.
No I do not HAVE to change but I may WANT to change if it helps me become a better communicator. I do not want to write you or anyone off just because you may not get me. At the same time if someone seems to be just interested in baiting my weaknesses or pressuring me from a bullying point of view, I would not be interested in pursuing communication with them. I HOPE it is obvious that I do not believe that of any one here or I would not even bother writing this!!!
And, I hope this does not offend you because I REALLY appreciate you and your opinions here, I can understand why my post was confusing because it was specifically aimed to LFL and NOP and I know LFL has understood my questions. And I appreciate she was honest enough to admit what I thought she might - it may take that extra harshness and "slap" from someone to get her to "get" it. For me I do not need that and while I can see it for what it is, I usually respond by going quiet or subdued. I can "allow" for it when I know it is unintentional or meant "well". Still do not like it and it is not the best way to get the best out of ME. but that is me. And I am very aware that we are all different.
That's one thing I have appreciated and respected about Coach Bear Bryant. He understood that people respond differently and as a coach he treated his players differently as to make the most of them.
"You have to learn what makes this or that Sammy run. For one it's a pat on the back, for another it's eating him out, for still another it's a fatherly talk, or something else. You're a fool if you think as I did as a young coach, that you can treat them all alike." Bear Bryant
Eating him out = chewing him out, stop your childish giggling right now!!
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
