My interpretation is that LFL has acknowledged that she does have continued issues to face and that this exchange did help her.
Absolutely.
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For me I give LFL lots of credit for being able to take this rough turbulent exchange and being open to searching for truth even though it was uncomfortable and heated.
Thanks for that.
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My question for LFL is whether she thinks, and I understand this is just her opinion because it would be impossible to know for sure, that she could have gotten the same lesson without the tension? If Nopkins had quoted her as originally done, but had instead posted something to the affect of "LFL I am not sure whether you are referring to me or not. However as someone who is knowledgeable, I wish to share the knowledge I have gained through hard earned work and think that I have a lot of offer. I do wonder if this approach can intimidate or irritate you because you have undone work or internal fears that are dredged up? Have you looked at yourself to understand why you react this way?"
Well, of course my first instinct is to say "yes, I would have responded to that much more empathic style." But who knows for sure? I think my H is very empathic and he probably tried for years to come at me "nicely" and it didn't work. He eventually left. I didn't "get it" and admit I am still working on really "getting it" fully. But with that said, I responded to Nop and instead of withdrawing like some people would, I confronted right back. Through that confrontation, I feel like I gained some insight. Same thing happened when my H left. It was hard to avoid at that point. He didn't say much but actions did the talking for him. I could choose to go through with the D if I wanted to but I small part of me respects him for what he did. He didn't put up with my crap anymore. Is that sick or healthy? Still trying to work that all out. The strong woman side of me is fighting with the "top my top" side of me. I also had a memory come back to me in the midst of my comments about "no one likes a know it all." Cobra will love this FOO stuff (lol). I remembered when I was about 18, I was dating someone who I ended up having a really rocky R with and I heard my Dad say to my Mom (in another room) that he did not like "that guy" because "he's a know it all." That was one of the few times I EVER heard my Dad comment on any R I ever had. So it had an impact I guess. Huh. More to think about.
