Discussion on MrsCAC4 thread - Making assumptions

[fearless]

Thanks Chrome.

EVERYONE: As this thread's originator I would like to end this argument here. If we wish to discuss the issue at hand, fine but only if the baiting and name calling stops. Otherwise please start your own thread. I am going to write MY viewpoint of this interaction and I would only ask that everyone read it with an open mind and CONSIDER it. You do not need to accept it as truth but please think about the possibility.

LFL's original post in my opinion was NOT meant as an insult. If she intended it to be, she would have brought up names. I saw it as a direct response to MY comment that some people did like know-it-all's due to their own issues while she and I did not care for them. Her post was a concern that some people take what is said as absolute and do not add their own filters. This is NOT the fault of the advice giver no matter how forceful their opinions are. It is the duty of the advice taker to filter advice but remember some people here are very vulnerable and are so desperate for solutions they begin to lose that filter even if they have had it in the past. And I say this from the experience of having that desperate feeling. I was lucky to not lose my filter but I can absolutely see how easy it is to lose.

And about the Emotional Affair, as someone who's marriage ended up ruined because of my xH's almost addiction to EAs, many times this does not happen purposely or consciously. That does not excuse it and it still must be acknowledged and ended. But just like in the relationship there is no excuse for throwing a mistake back in people's faces. It was a mistake that has obviously been faced, acknowledged, and ended.

Furthermore from my POV NOP took the first shot here. Here is the beginning of this whole "argument":

Hi, LFL.

Quote:
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That is why I cringe sometimes when I see people trying to follow someone's advice off of this baord as if it is going to be the Holy Grail of solutions.
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Names?

What are your fears?

-NOPkins-

Before LFL even replied to his post, I had a feeling she might react emotionally just like i feel she was being baited to react. NOP in my opinion was doing this to discredit her POV. He may have guessed she would react emotionally which would give him more to work with in order to discredit her POV. This is NO EXCUSE that she reacted in such an emotional manner because she did have a choice. She could have ignored it or mitigated it but at the same time to be clear she did not initiate this argument in my opinion. They were BOTH equal participants to this exchange, IMHO.

And for the record, LFL does endorse NOP's opinions occasionally at least so she hardly discounts him and his opinions.

I am going to write further on a post about the original subject of know-it-alls. My definition of it, what I feel about it and how I deal with them.