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Where he is at a place where he can let totally loose of that gf and tell her he does not want to do that to me anymore. Do you think that is possible?



Yes I do, but he has to be the one to do it.
You can not push him along or say well do this or do that he will take his own pace. ( and yes it feels like an eternity sometimes and you want to slap him up a few times too, but you will take a deep breath swallow your pride and say this to yourself \:\) ... IS WHAT I AM ABOUT TO DO GOING TO HELP ME REACH MY GOAL,, IF NOT THEN DO NOT SAY IT OR DO IT.)

HE NEEDS TO HAVE TIME TO WORK ON THIS BUT AT THE SAME TIME DO NOT THINK I AM TELLING YOU TO BE A DOORMAT.

I let my H be,,, had to see that she still blew up his phone for awhile , she still sent pictures of herself to him,, even one with a tattoo she got of his name on her body and in a place that is not visible to everyone!
TMI ~ YUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And then for some reason when I felt the time was right I said to him " I realize you need time..... But if you are still not sure you want to be with me or her and you are not in this with me then I say you should go be with her. If she does not know you are here and you need to keep her in your life then I can not be a part of this. I thought we were moving together toward a better future but if she is a part of it then I do not want to be too...... and lots more but I cant remember it all.

That very day the calls stopped.

Although b/c she is his younger sisters BFF ( best friend for life!!!) THE OW will always be a part of his in some way or another
and she would often say hi to him thru his sister.
( My H had his cell loud one day and sitting next to me and his sister said XXXXXX says to say hi to you )
I wanted to burst out crying and punch him ( and I am not violent at all by nature) but I took the deepest breath I could and let it go.

So I do believe in miracles Cissy....
and most of all I believe in GOD...
it seems like you need the strength of a million horses sometimes to get thru this and sometimes the pain seems unbearable .( well at least for me it did and then when I was alone I would cry/sob/scream and pray and vent here)

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I know it's different for everyone, but how long did it take you to feel like he was really "with you" again?


Well honey I wilL be honest with you on that one~ Just recently to be honest

.... and we have been "RECONCILED" since August 1st.
Sure the blessing of abother chance made me feel so blessed and Happy but then the harder work began. I have read ( cant rememeber where) that for very year you are married it takes that long for the WAS to feel secure. And it takes alot of consistency and diligence to make your 180s and your changes stick so they believe them. And you do really want to work hard on you so that the changes are real and feel genuine not like a ploy to get them back.
My H in late July said he felt like I was acting!!!!
Too many 180s I guess or to good to be true?
I tried to keep it light was not in the mood for a deep R talk and said "Well honey then I should head to Hollywood,, but actually I am not acting. I have been working very hard and this is how I am now. This has been very hard for me and yet this is who I really am."
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... I am doing the DBusting and some things I know he likes but what are some things you do that really makes your H feel special, or loved?


Have you read the book 5LL ? If not I suggest you read it.
It is called the 5 Love Languages and it details how your H's " love tank" is filled and what makes him feel most special.
For my H it is Physical Touch and my H was Famished to say the least. I would say for now the best gift is to be positive and happy and keep smiling so that you are a pleasure to be around.

But also I want to mention the most important Thing and I am very serious~

Work on you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know it may seem absurd but when you are at your best then everything else just seems to fall into place. Just until these last few weeks have I been able to really focus on me and letting go. My told me just a bit ( a couple of weeeks)ago to stop worrying about him and focus on me and that he loved me and CHANGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And here I thought I was "changing" or had " changed".
When there is OW involved it seems to take soo much longer to heal. And I am very positve with my H now and when a small doubt comes in I take another d*mn deep breath and know that what I am doing has value and is good and God will help me. And most of all start today to work on you and do little " repair" jobs everyday . Set goals and keep polishing what is already there and strive to be happy and centered.

I am not the best advice giver in the world but please remember that you are soooo valuable and beautiful and "they " are seperate from you and you are above all their BS .......

I hope I have helped you some and I wish you all the best. And keep working towards your Miracle. You can do it.

TAKE CARE AND GOD BLESS....