Steelersfan - I think it is the overall length of the affair - and yes, some affairs do last longer than 2 years, clearly, but I think that your h is unusual in this. My h's OW was only 3 years younger than him [or me] and apparently looked older.
Another way of timing it is from the 'bomb' although some men start an affair after the bomb, others before, and some, at the time of the bomb. I'd quite like to find out more about that, as I think it may be significant, though am not sure how.
From what you have posted though, it does seem to me that your h is pretty conflicted about his r with the OW?? I mean it isn't all bluebirds and rainbows?
