No Contact for the sake of Sanity

[Cinderellaman]

Thanks Grace and Always for popping in with your wise and kind words !

I am in serious DOUBT-mode today...........IS H really in MLC, he seems to be respecting my NC so incredibly well, why is he so kind about this???? He hasn't and probably will not cross my boundaries, which of course is good, but why is he so willing to stick to them. He seems to be too kind to be in MLC...why ? He seems fine when I watch him from the window upstairs when he's picking up the kids...the first few weeks of no contact in November he always used to look back at the house as if wondering where and how I was...No he doesn't, he just picks the kids up and he's off....this all hurts so much, has he moved on ? For sure this time, Is OW maybe very happy with the NC because she now has him all to herself ??!!

I know that some of the stuff H is doing is really very MLC, (like the low-budget-ski-trip with 23/25 year olds), but he seems pretty descent for the rest......... I am SO afraid of what I might have done with the NC....like you said Always, what if he just won't miss me. What if his life just became a lot less complicated, less to worry about, one less person to think about.....
And what about his breakdown Saturday.......nothing after that....nothing....he seems all happy and cheary, and I know you all say that they're not happy inside, but what proof do we have of this ??? Saturday I thought H was finally starting to realise what a mess he had made of his life, but now he seems fine and up and about....probably relieved that he doens't have to contact me or call me as often either..........uRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGH - I just don't know, I've lost the plot I think....the thing is, if I stop the NC thing, I'm sure we will back to square 1, him cake-eating and me feeling miserable about it, so that's not an option either I suppose..........WHY IS THERE NO - RIGHT WAY !!!????

I miss him, terribly, miss him, miss him.........

OK - get a grip.............Sun is shining, have a facial booked, vet is dropping by to see the dog...chin up and face the world !!!!! (UGH so sick of facing the world - at times it seems such hypocritical place, full of sneaky people, trying to get our spouses in their claws .......) I need some faith again, faith in humanity, faith in myself for being ME, faith in my H to wake up and see the wonderful wife and kids he just left behind on a whim of a 24 year old.

OK - I need some fairy dust again YR, off to face the world....