I don't hold the past against her. But neither do I feel all great about trudging into the future with someone who cannot be relied upon.
Since I've been there (long ago), I can tell you that that feeling of questioning reliability does pass. It can take a long time. I'd say that after about 5 years post-affair, I did feel I could "rely" on my husband.
That probably doesn't help right now, but feelings can and do change. I have great respect for you and others who make parenting and raising their own kids a top priority. Hang in there buddy.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
