Remember that NC and going dark is to save YOUR sanity not to do anything to or for him. Sure he may realize he missed you, but then what? Is he going to see the light and want to some home? Would you trust him if he did. I know you love him and want him back, do you really want things to be the way they were? I know I don't. Granted, my H is still living (I guess that's what you call it) at home, (and I have never been more lonely), but these are just some of the things I think about when I consider what it is I want for the rest of my life.
Yes, at this moment I want him back, but not the way it was. Our M/R has got to become something greater or not at all. I read somewhere on this bb that you should take about six months before make any major decisions about your R. Your hand is being forced, but do what you have to do to protect yourself and your kids and think, read and listen. Everything won't apply to you, but take what you can and don't forget to evaluate what your doing that works and doesn't work. If you journal at all (either here or privately), this could help you to look back and see if there's any progress or not, this includes your own mind set.
I don't now if this is helpful at all to you, but I hope it gives you something you can use.
