Hi everyone thank you for checking on me regarding court yesterday its been a rough couple of days!!
Here is the latest:
H was supposed to "appear" via phone and he did not!! GO FIGURE.
His atty said that H has been very hard to get ahold of and so him and my atty just worked out #'s for support and presented it to the judge.
Basically I was awarded full custody of the kids and all of the money out of his paychecks that the law would allow. There was nothing to fight about b/c H did not call in to fight for anything not even his kids!!! H lives in another state and he has been in another state all week for work, very busy with meetings as he says.
So, I was obviously happy with the ruling although this was just for temporary orders so who know what will happen when the permanent orders it, H may decide to fight me then.
I was very sad that he couldn't even pull himself away from his busy schedule to call in. And, the amount of money that I was ordered to get from him plus what I take home every month w/ my job is still not enough to get my own place and give the girls the life they were used to just a few months ago!
OK so now for the fireworks!!!!::
I have not responded or talked to H in almost 2 weeks which is unheard of for us but, last night he starts calling. I assumed it was regarding info he had received from his atty so I did not answer. He called 15 times then started w/ the TM that he just wanted to say hi and checkin and let me know that he wanted to come in to town to see the kids this weekend. I TM him back just to say he would have to let me know his schedule b/c girls have plans this weekend, he TM that he would. Then the calls and TM kept coming, "why won't you talk to me" ?. I finally just turned my phone off, I was too hurt about him and court.
So, I wake up this morning to the following TM from him
10:30pm " I don't understand why you will not talk to me. Everything we have gone thru I still and always will show you the respect you deserve...I will always care about you and how you feel. I know I had ambitions for us to remain friends and will always want that with you. You are important to me and to our children and hope that we can someday talk and enjoy each others company again. I'm sorry, bye"
Ok this made me so sad b/c for one it is the same stuff that hurts, he just wants to be friends, isn't that sweet. I guess I should have been happy about that, but his history lately is that this is just his way of covering up his own guilt. And this time it was probaly b/c he knows he was wrong and missed court! How can I be only his FRIEND right now when he has abandoned us? I know this is not a positive DB attitude but WTF?
Well my assumptions were right b/c then I got the next TM after he had obviously received an email from he atty regarding court.
12:30am (only 2 hrs after the previous one, boy did he change his tune)
"I just found out why you are not answering my calls... I didn't know court was today I thought my atty was going to get the day switched. Well Im glad you got what you were looking for...I honestly just wanted to talk to you...I hope you realize what you have done...you don't DESERVE what YOU get. You ruined my life long ago. But I knew you would do what you could to continue to ruin it. Good luck with the rest of YOUR life"
I was devestated but not suprised at this, first I deserve the best then I don't, I have ruined his life??? How, by taking care of him and his kids???
I sent back a TM this am that said, "I'm sorry you feel that way your life is not the only one that has been ruined, please let me know your schedule for this weekend"
Then this afternoon he sent me 2 TMS
"I am busy in meetings all day today" (??? SO what is what I thought)
"You doing okay" (what would make him say that???)
I have not had any contact since then.
Can someone please tell me what to make out of all of this, how do I continue to DB when it is obviouly over??
I hurt so bad. I want to tell him still even after all of this, just come home to your girls we love you and want you here.
My C says if he comes in this weekend to have NC with him. B/C everytime I do that he sucks me back in only to dump on me again.
What would be the correct DB thing to do? I don't feel like even being his friend right now, he hasn't even earned that right and he completely takes advantage of it time and time again.
My C says to just let him unwind like he his starting to do and let the cards fall where they will, he has made the choice to not be a part of our lives.
He can not start to climb out of the tunnel until he hits rock bottom and he hasn't yet, will I know if he ever does?
It obviously drives him crazy when I go dark, but shouldn't I continue to let him go crazy for awhile, I have always made this too easy on him.
