Life of Job

[81388*]

Theoden;

My broken heart goes out to you brother. It wasn't until this afternoon that I realized the depth of your pain. My friend, we are cut from the same cloth.

I too see things as black and white, I always have. Mine has been a world of moral absolutes. Things have always been either right or wrong, not a lot of middle ground, if any.

You have been there for me and given me so much to think about, I hope that I can do the same for you.

The problem with moral absolutes is that they can work against each other. Which is more important, not comitting adultry or honoring you mother? I think that is why it was made so clear that the two that are most important are to love God and to love each other as ourselves. When we do those two, the others fall into place.

So where does that leave the two of us? The pain and anger that we feel is the result of those who have loved themselves above all others. Above their husbands, children, and their God. If our response is to condem, even indirectly, then we fall short.

Why do you think it is through this infidelity that we are being tested? I think that for me it is because it is what I value most. You touched on this the other night. My idol has been my wife and my family. I was a good man because my wife and children were happy and well cared for. Whatever they needed, I could provide. Although we taught them about God, I expected them to rely ONLY on me.

The other reason is because I can be so hurt by the breaking of the bonds of trust. We are men of honor, our word is our bond. When we say we will, then come hell or high water it will be done. We tend to attribute this quality to others once we accept them into our close circle. I even gave that benefit to the OM before I knew the truth. Why? Because my wife, who was seated at the head of the round table vouched for him, and that has always been good enough for me.

How much more difficult to be betrayed by not one, but two people you have loved. With some men I would be concerned that they would not understand the use of love in that sentance, but I feel certain you do.

I have been blessed in this world with two best friends. The first was and still is the guy I grew up with. He too stood at my wedding and once again vowed that he would help me stand in the face of all adversity. He again vowed allegence to me and my family as he stood at the font with my baby girl in his arms and swore before God that he would do everything in his power to help raise this child in a way that is consistent with His will. I have and continue to be fortunate that he has been good to his word.

The other has been my wife. We were invinceable. It didn't seem to matter what we took on, we knew we would succeed. Our courtship was turbulent, but passionate. I think we thrived in that environment. I never had any doubt that my wife would personally hold back the gates of hell for me and our family and felt secure in the knowledge that I would do the same for her.

To have lost one of these friends is incredibly painful and confusing, I can't even contemplate loosing them both. The unfaithfulness of your wife is only magnified by that of your best friend.

You have helped me to see that we are called to share in the sacrifice of Christ himself. How much did he suffer for the "pleasure" of sacrificing himself while we were yet sinners.

My friend, every fiber of my proud human nature wants to shout from the rooftops and the street corners at how contemptable my wifes behavior is, how injust it is, how unfaithful she has been to our bond of honor and committment, but at the same time I see that for what it is. It is an attempt to draw me in. To tempt me to my basest behavior.

I am confident over time that I will be able to continue to teach and show my children what is expected of them as christians. If and when the truth comes out, and they have difficult questions to ask, I will honestly answer them to the best of my ability, if I don't have those answers I will make it my quest to find them. If they ask why mom did what she did, I will tell them they will have to ask her, because I simply do not know.

I am confident that if God can lead me through this, he will lead me through the continued rearing of my children, so that as they grow, even if they turn away they will return.

Peace be with you my brother, and may God wrap you in His loving arms, take your burdens, and reassure you that as a man of honor you will be given everything that you need to stand in the face of this hellish attack and live to fight another day. Rest well my friend, we have so much more to give then we think.