I hope you don't mind me posting once in awhile with you guys. My situation is so much like 2940 only a little different. You have really helped me. I also fight that obession to call and ask to many questions but I have tried real hard to give my H his space. It is the hardest thing to do but we have to do it. One thing that has helped me is to exercise even if it is just a walk or do pilates at home. It makes you think about something besides just sitting around and thinking about all the negative things that might be happening and might not be happening. If you are like me you wonder what hes doing and usually have a whole story made up in my mind that probably didn't happen. I will also get antsy about him calling and not calling. I have an exercise I try to use when those type of thoughts come into my mind I try to think OK thats enough negative I need to think of something positive (like what am I accomplishing today at work that is helping me) just as an example. I have friends and even my sister-in-laws keep after me to do something for myself. I think in our situation the only thing that we think about is how can we get him back right now.. WE try to force it and in all the books and articles and DBing we are pushing him away. This is really hard to think to let him have his space it goes against all beliefs. You need to do something for yourself. Enjoy your self in Las Vegas and relax alittle.. Take a friend make it fun. I have tried the DBing coaching. It is really great to talk to them. They walk you thru alot. I wish I could have talked to them everyday. Sometimes it is hard to follow the advice and I have like you pushed it to hard when things were getting better (I should have thought PATIENCE) and now I'm starting all over again and wondering now if it will get back to where I had made some progress. (I should have thought PATIENCE) I do believe he was thinking about leaving the other OW and I just couldn't leave it alone. NOw Who knows. Patience is the best advice and the toughest to do.
The one thing to do is start being yourself and enjoying yourself no matter how hard it is. Do things for yourself. Go to lunch with some friends while you are at work. Do something for you!!!! Make your self feel better about you and you will become more attractive to him. My H even said the other day that doing things for me looked attractive on me. Whether it is a smile or wearing yyour hair different or showing that you are more relaxed. When you come out of your office to talk to him take a few deep breaths and say I will be relaxed and then go talk to him in a relaxed way (He will notice the change). Believe me it is tough but just think Mind over matter I am going to do this. I know the hurt and if you are like me you want things better right now and you can't understand what the OW has that I don't have. What does she have thats so much better. She has no baggage to share with him she doesn't have to work and run a business or anything. She can put up a front and be who ever she wants till the real person comes out eventually. We can work on our selves to make us feel better about us because we are good people. I heard this saying once that Think of him leaving for the OW this way "He left for a hamburger when he had a steak at home." We are the steak we are better. You are a good person remember that. One other thing is you can do anythng by yourself. I have done stuff all my life (where i think when I do ask for help it bugs him. we live in the country so you have to do things by your self or he always made me think I had to.) You can get help from friends or even advice how to do it. You will be amazed how good it feels to be able to accomplish something that he always did. You can get your car serviced or the tires rotated. You can call someone to fix the plumbing. Just use your common sense and you will do well.
I guess I have rattled on enough. It has helped me to to write this to you. Hang in there and we are behind you and will support you. Start looking out for yourself. I have to follow my own advice tooo... Get some rest and keep your head up and try to think Positive. Til the next time I think I have to right a book Hang in there!!!!
