Huband just moved in with OW

[Danu]

Hi Tab,

I also have good days and bad days, it comes with the territory I think. Yesterday I didn't cry at all! Today has been a down day. Nothing happened, just feeling blue. Cried all the way home from work.

I guess what I've tried to do is gather as much information as I can about MLC, so I have some understanding of this maddness. This not only helps me to see that I have nothing to do with him feeling this way, it also made me realize that it's beyond his control also. I don't hate him because he's sick.

This is such a process for all of us to understand and deal with. Maybe someone should write up "stages" that we go through too! After 11 months I am finally starting to understand that I need to GAL. I want so badly to think about and talk about something other than this awful situation! For me, this phase is coming slowly. I do think I'm making progress, but it's so slow!

It's also hard to plan for the worst case scenario, but I do that too. I keep telling myself, plan for the worst and hope for the best! It's hard not to dwell on the negative thoughts of what COULD happen. That's a daily struggle for me.

I think what you're doing is the right thing for sure. It's exactly what I did (so of course I think you're right! Ha! Ha!), and now even though my H's moved out, I can look back on the last 11 months and know that I did my best to support him and be there for him like I believe a good wife should be. And I did this for me too, not just him. That's not to say that I think any less of anyone who doesn't hang in there! We all have to do what's right for us, and I know I've done what's right for me.

One thing I wish I'd done in the beginning is post on this website. It's helping me so much to chat with so many people who are living through this also. So, Tab, keep posting!

Danu