I am absolutely going to do this!! I also read today that after awhile, ppl can become "obsessed" with their issue, maybe it is not as bad as I have perceived it, so backing off may help me as well. I am going to really try to not act desperate!!
He only talks to his ex maybe once a month. His kids are teenagers and they live in California so we see them once or twice during the school year and in the summers they come here. He talks to them on the phone but not as much as he should and he knows that. I try to encourage a phone call often because I know he feels better after talking to them but I dont want to be pushy about it either. This is unbelievable but, the source is the kids. When they get upset with her, they discuss it with him. She tells them that he is a loser and that he has a new family and doesnt have the time or money for them. She says things like "you are the one who wanted these kids." Very harsh.
We do not spend much time alone. A few minutes in the morning and a few minutes at night, if he is awake. We swore we would always make time alone. We do go out for dinner once in awhile and play pool with friends once in awhile. After reading more of the book today, I made a date for this weekend! I think when I DO things FOR him, he feels the most loved. I do a lot! If I get him a card or write a note, he told me it doesnt do much for him... it leaves me with not many ideas to do to make him feel special. I know I am not perfect but I am very loving, easy going, supportive, I dont know how else to change my attitude. I just know I do need to do what you suggested, back off and dont act desperate!! Here I go..........................
