I was very open about communicating what I was upset about but xH was so sure that he knew the real issue. I could tell him until I was blue in the face that waiting to the last minute showed disrespect for me and did not allow me to make my own plans for the evening. But he just KNEW that the real problem was that I was jealous, wanted him to be home with me and did not want him to go out with his friends so he believed it was my fault that he would wait until the last minute to let me know about these plans.
I do not mind that xH assumed things about me but I did mind that when I tried to explain what I really felt, I was told that I was not being honest and did not know what I felt.
Harley calls those sorts of assumptions "disrespectful judgements". Your xH was placing himself in a position of superiority over you in regards to *your* own feelings. Snort.
Telling someone how they really feel over their continued assertions to the contrary is way up there in the makes-me-love-you-less categories.
I'm glad you had enough strength to hold onto your own sense of self - to do otherwise results in crazy-making.
