Help me

[stubborn]

ahhh, the old "easy button"! I think I saw that next to the "I'm not hurting anybody" blinders, right by the "I can't help what I feel" armor...

Advice, dear friends, would now be welcome: vacation is coming...just the three of us. This is a tough time because the bomb was right after our spring vacation last year. I gave myself a year and it's almost up. I have been wondering if it would be worthwhile to tell spouse I had that timeline in my head? Opinions?

I have goals for vacation: I am kissed by spouse (god knows more would be fun but...)Spouse and I play some game every day (darts, scrabble whatever, she always wins) We laugh together alot.

Laughing may take some work on my part, although the last couple of days I feel detached and less sad. I still feel like a little girl deserves more from her parents in our home but I cannot control everything. Damn!

Positives: She's going on vacation with me. (I don't think our cells will work there! yeah, no phone calls to OW)

We had a talk she initiated and she told me ILY. I was walking into the house and actually froze and had tears running down my cheeks. She said "what? Did you think I didn't" (no, I thought you had a hell of a way of showing it) I took a few deep breaths and then returned to her, kissed her brow and said ILY too.

I have pushed the envelope lately and she always gets pissy mad when she feels she might have to consider her own behavior. So she gets rude and defensive. But she has been apologizing for bad behavior. Wouldn't have to apologize if she didn't engage in it but...)

Speak to me my wise advisors!