I have been kinda busy lately so I have not been able to keep up. However, it sounds like you are still in that good spot mentally (As Usual). Keep it up...
Later, Ben
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
1. You are letting go of things that you have no control over. 2. You didn't let H's negative attitude effect you. 3. You are GAL; i.e. going out without kids to the musical.
Now, did you let H know how much you appreciated him? My H once told me that he felt that he did alot around the house and with kids and didn't feel like I appreciated it. Now I either flat how tell him how awesome he is which strokes his ego big time or I do something nice for him in return.
As far as the riding toys, if H wants to get one for you by all means let him. Having 3 kids myself I know how you can get so wrapped up in their lives that you forget to live your own. You and your H still need to have fun too!
I am still trying to get that large check in the mail too! The law of attraction says that when you need money, you will continue to attract needing money. To attract money, you must focus on wealth. Focus your thoughts that you currently have more than enough money and it will begin to flow into your life.
You can also use this analogy with your R; focus your thoughts that you have everything you want with you H instead of what is missing from the R!
Re: point #2...this is BIG for me. I have always been someone who cannot stand to think someone is upset with me. It makes me almost physically ill to think I've hurt or inconvenienced anyone. But I have to say, it felt good last night to let go of H's negative comments and just enjoy myself. And what's better--I did not spend more than one minute rationalizing my taking time off to myself.
I am pretty sure I told H I appreciated him...I normally do, so it didn't register on my radar, but I'm not sure I made enough out of it. This is something I have been aware I can be working on--changing my praise from general things H can disagree with (you're awesome!) to more specific things he can accept (it was thoughtful of you to do x). Since I can't remember saying more than thanks last night, I think I'd better step up my efforts in this area. I KNOW for a fact H would never admit it, but he has a large ego that needs lots of tender care.
I would like to come up with ways to show H he is needed/wanted without being or coming across as needy and pursuing. I am positive that his biggest motivators are being needed, accepted and appreciated.
Have you thanked him for something he did recently? Making his favorite meal, or doing something that he has always appreciated from you? All these things express love, and unless he's blind as an Ox, then he should notice that he is needed & wanted.
~Sol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Single Dad, and luvin it! ~ Happiness is a state of mind ~
I thank him daily for things he does...I have always made efforts to thank him, and currently am trying to be very specific when I do so.
I make meals for him often, rarely anything he doesn't like, and I try to make one of his favorites at least once a week.
As for what he appreciates from me? He says thank you, but rarely indicates deep appreciation...and when I have asked (in the distant past) what he needs/wants from me, his reply is always: "nothing--you're doing just fine."
Stuff he used to do...he still does a lot of it for me. I think the things I miss most now are the ILYs, his 'nice' nickname for me: Beauty (He still uses less flattering pet names for me), holding my hand, just having him home, praying together and going to church with me.
Perhaps I'm already doing what is in my power, and it's a matter of waiting for him to deal with his own issues. Gah. Back to just having faith that he'll START to work on that stuff on his own.?
Sounds like you are. I would just continue to thank him for each specific task that he does for you.
Maybe on the days that he really does something that you appriciate make him a super nice dinner. Just go the extra 9 yards to make sure that he understand how much you appriciate him being around.
Sorry that I am not much help here but it does seem like you have it under control but want to find a way to rock the boat a little bit....I will wcontinue to think on this one and see what I can come up with...
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
