Thank you Shades and PS. Yes, I am so thankful for today. Finally feel Up!
You know holding my niece today, all I could think about was how truly awful and stupid this whole crisis is. What a serious waste. Yes, I know, H is revisiting his childhood and all that; he has issues to work out from years ago, etc. Still, I see all this time as such a waste right now.
I still love him but he's such a lost soul. I think the point I am at is that I would give him a chance but I won't wait if something else should come into my life and offer me a chance at happiness. Life really is too short. I am content to be by myself right now and heal. But I do not want to be alone forever.
Thanks for the congrats tonight. I am excited to go see her again tomorrow. I just baked a big batch of assorted muffins to take over tomorrow for everyone, so the apt. smells good.
Thank you Annie!
Last edited by hopefloats7; 03/07/0701:12 AM.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
I was wondering as I read about your H's change of attitude, if your H was not enjoying feeling needed or like the good guy when he could show you care and concern and be there for you. Now you are not seriously ill and you may be getting a good job. Your life is good and his is still in the toilet.
I am not saying he shouldn't be feeling this, he is totally responsible for his choices and his life. But it was just a thought.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
iluv, Maybe. I have made it clear to him that he is still needed and wanted very much by me. Just about a month ago we had a R talk. And there have been nights I have sent him emails or texts, saying I miss him or that I wish he were here. He never replies to these but I know he reads them.
It is said that being strong attracts them back to us. I do not know if this is true. What repels my H from reconciling with me now, according to him, is his guilt for what he has done. Strong or weak, there is nothing I can do to change that inside of him. I have told him I forgive him; it doesn't matter.
I think he hates his life, you are right. And I don't. Not even after what he did to me. But the difference is, I had a loving family to fall back on, and H's family is not as close as mine. He does have support from them but it isn't the way mine is. I feel badly for him because my family still misses H and he could still be a part of it, but he won't allow himself.
It is all such a shame.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
I was not saying that you were doing anything for him to feel this way. But I just wondered if he liked the idea of "being there" for you without having to admit to or own anything.
You are doing a wonderful job and it is great that you have a good life. I think in truth that what is drawing him toward you.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
Oh, no, I understood that, iluv! I guess I got off on a tangent there...sorry. Thank you; I'm making the most of this situation. That is all any of us can do.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
Hope, I am glad to see you had a positve, happy day! Congrats on the arrival of your neice. My sister is having a girl at the end of May and I am so excited!
I am also glad that your test came back negative. What a big relief!
Yes, I am so thankful for today. Finally feel Up!