And you never will. It is a futile exercise. Read Dieda. He explains this very nicely. My views on assumptions have nothing to do with reading the other person’s mind. I make assumptions in order to put myself into their shoes, to try to understand them for MY sake, not for their sake. It sounds like your ex wanted you to read her mind to better please her. That is placating and a no-win situation. She will keep changing the rule to keep you dancing.
What I was trying to say before is that understanding your ex would be for the purpose of trying to see things from her perspective to better understand her complaints about you. If you agree that her complaints are valid and should be acknowledged, whether you agree with them or not, you then need to understand why she says what she says, and how you play into her complaints. Does that make sense?
It makes sense. I just do not understand how I would get there through assumptions. I have found success through actively listening and validating feelings. By doing so one does not have to "dig in" to defend a position. The other person is more open to a dialog about the issue and will communicate. I don't have to make assumptions to try and understand for my sake. I can get understanding through meaningful communication because the other person sees that I am genuinely interested in his/her feelings.
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Cobra, I have to say as a man who sees the mistakes he made in his marriage and as the father of a D8 I don't understand your views at all on relationships or child rearing.
I don’t know what confuses you.
I know. I was just thinking out loud. I don't really need to understand. I accept your right to have other POV's. I just don't have to accept them as correct.
I am the man who is loving my kids and will keep them from continuing this cycle of destruction.
