Lin pretty much answered your questions for you. However, I would like a little more detail on why you were overly talkative to your husband about work issues. Why are you doing this? For some close contact? He just might see through that...don't try and over-compensate the work issues for personal reasons.
Being "chatty" does not allow you to focus on "you" and all of the issues you need to work on about yourself. It prevents you from delving into solving the problems within yourself.
As far as what to do when he comes back...he won't be back until he sees a change in you on a consistent basis. That is why you must put your heart and soul into changing and learning about yourself - every nice and horrible thing that makes you so needy. Sit back, relax and find yourself...go out with friends, join a club with interests you like. Try not to focus on "him". He is doing fine...with her.
On your issues about the car, yard, toilet...get out the yellow pages and call someone to fix them, then write a check. Show your husband you can stand on your own two legs. Stop leaning on him for everything. You see, what worked before, just may be part of the problem...be more self-sufficient. The toilet stops working - call a plumber...the car needs new brakes - then drive it to a brake repair shop. Continue paying the bills. If he cut the grass - hire a lawn service. In other words, you run and repair the house you live in - your husband doesn't live there anymore. If he would pass away suddenly, God forbid, you would need to do these things on your own. You are alone, now, start doing what you need to do. He chose not to live there, so you handle the problems. Don't present him the bills, I would assume you still have a joint account, write a check from that.
What Lin said: You are not a couple now, nor do you both reside together...you are single, think single. He has detached from you - now do the same...detach from him. Get your personality back...get your own identity...stop living through him. You are both two individuals, not one...but, you have "lost" yourself by being his wife...you put him way above your own self-worth. You gave him the power that belonged within you...you never, ever give that to anyone. That power makes you...you.
He left work probably because he knows you're upset, yes, he cares, but right now - he cares more for her. That is why you need to get a grip and be that independent, self-worthy, vibrant, self assured woman that you are...or should be. If I recall, you are 36 years old? Old enough to live by yourself and fix the daily household problems. Show him you are able to function without him.
One more thing - do not talk him to death about work issues. It seems "forced". If he continues to leave without saying goodbye then, so be it...he looks silly. Worry more about you...less on him. He won't come back until he has solid proof that you have drastically changed your personality. BUT, if you pursue him anymore, you will push him into terminating the marriage.
Now, get some sleep, think good thoughts, your trip to Vegas and which friend you'll invite...then sleep. Don't stress over this anymore, it does show and he will know...it only makes you look pitiful and pathetic...that isn't "who you are", is it?
