The assumption of how someone feels may not feel empathetic or compassionate to that person but may feel condescending and controlling. For example, my xH assumes that I will be upset if he is going out with his friend on Friday night. So first instead of letting me know on Monday he waits until Thursday then he broaches the subject by saying "I know you are going to be mad that I want to go out with Bill but..." Of course I am mad NOW. He knew about this Monday and now it is Thursday and he is leaving me in a lurch as far as plans. PLUS he is telling me how I feel which does irritate me especially when he is WRONG. And finally he has made it my fault that he waited to tell me because I was going to be mad. The assumption actually created the very situation he supposedly wanted to avoid.
I agree with you that acting upon unsupported assumptions can go horribly wrong.
I'm curious as to why your husband is operating from fear about telling his plans to you.
