Re: point #2...this is BIG for me. I have always been someone who cannot stand to think someone is upset with me. It makes me almost physically ill to think I've hurt or inconvenienced anyone. But I have to say, it felt good last night to let go of H's negative comments and just enjoy myself. And what's better--I did not spend more than one minute rationalizing my taking time off to myself.
I am pretty sure I told H I appreciated him...I normally do, so it didn't register on my radar, but I'm not sure I made enough out of it. This is something I have been aware I can be working on--changing my praise from general things H can disagree with (you're awesome!) to more specific things he can accept (it was thoughtful of you to do x). Since I can't remember saying more than thanks last night, I think I'd better step up my efforts in this area. I KNOW for a fact H would never admit it, but he has a large ego that needs lots of tender care.
