Its over...she filed part 2

[ImprovedRomeo]

UA, I didn't want to go through with this but she's in the driver's seat. I've tried and tried she wouldn't even tell me what things she doesn't like in me. I don't think she knows or cares she just wants out...how can I do anything if she won't even talk to me about this. Look at the email she sent, it says she's moved on and she's not thinking about me. I've got to start believing this is over and I've got to start taking control of my life. Even if she comes back I'll always fear she could do this again, she's not trustworthy anymore. I don't want to be wrapped around her pinky and worry about every little argument, this is insane.

Here's my last email to her a couple of days ago in response to her's but has she bothered replying or even acknowledging? no. In fact, her lawyer sent the paperwork to my lawyer yesterday.


I understand what you're saying but I don't agree with everything. Forgetting something is different than forgiving something. You don't have to forget, it's not even possible most of the time. However, if you've truly forgiven the bad things then those shouldn't play a part in making the decisions for the future. That's what forgiveness is. When you ask God for forgiveness you're asking Him to forgive your mistakes and not base his decisions for you based on what's already been done.

The fact that there's such a positive environment for D right now is not because we're seperated but because I've worked very very hard to change my behavior. I've made peace with a lot of things. I've learnt to depend on myself for everything; cleaning the house, the kitchen, cooking, the litter box, laudary and most of all taking care of D. Are you saying none of this even matters to you? You talk about the fun times we've had together, why can't we have more of those and none of the fights? We can if you try even a little.

In regard to D, you're quick to mention she's OK with being with either of us but you don't talk about how many times she asks me about you crying, how many times she says she wants to go see mommy, how many times she wants to "wait for mommy", and how many times she asks you she wants to see her daddy. What about me? how many times I wish to see her when she's not here? how many times I want to see her sleep in peace and not wake up distrot wondering which house or room she's in. How many times I wish you were with me when I see two parents hanging out with their kid at the toy store or the park or the mall and the the look on D's face at that time and her cute comments like "he's with mommy and daddy" etc.

I know you don't like me to use your childhood as an example so I'll use mine. What we do in relationships is a learned behavior from our parents. What I did is how I saw my parents, to them the day to day arguments and ups and downs didn't matter. I don't agree with a lot of the things they did and in turn the things that I learnt from them and for that reason I've changed. By the same token what are we teaching D? that we couldn't resolve our issues and in such cases it's OK to just run away leaving your family behind?

I know I can help you with your issues from the past if you decide that it's time to stop running away from them and face them head-on. I promise to be with you every step of the way and I'll never let you lose your balance...