Hi. Thanks for checking out my sitch. I am going to read yours tonight after I get the kids in bed. (It's 6 pm here in Hawaii).
My H didn't have a physical affair, I felt that it was an emotional affair that he had during his deployment. He didn't tell me about this woman, due to my being insecure to begin with, so I found out about her when I checked his email to see why he hadn't answered mine. She had emailed him 1 time, nothing romantic. She started emailing me, (after she found out I was pretty pissed off, and I had sent an email saying "who are you?")
She started telling me that H told her all about our R, and how he didn't like being around me much anymore due to my clinginess, etc. I've been working on that stuff, though, and he actually contributed quite a bit to my being insecure. He would be out w/her working out or whatever and miss phone calls home, not email, etc. I started getting clingy when I wondered why he was pulling away.
He said that he needed space, etc. Anyway, he and she both claim that nothing happened, I believe him. I think that she would have liked nothing better than to have my H. I got that impression from her many emails that kept coming even H was home, she would email me, asking me if we were working it out, etc. I didn't want to keep contact, so I didn't. H stopped all contact w/her because he sees that she was trying to "get" him (showed him the emails where she was trying to start trouble with us). I have no proof of any other affair, emotional or physical. She was also leaning on my H because she was going through a divorce. She left her H because she wanted to go hang out w/men and he didn't like it, so she left him. I got the impression that this woman was a flirt, etc., liked the male attention she got, whatever. I don't mind if H is friendly w/women, I know he's got to work with them, but if he ever has a woman like that in his life again, there will be problems, I just know it.
Anyway, just wanted to give you some info. about the EA he had. In my opinion, an emotional affair occurs when a spouse confides in a person of the opposite sex personal details that no one should know except the husband and wife. He was talking to her and discussing our problems the way he should have been discussing them with me, but didn't.
