There is HOPE in your situation...BUT...BIG BUT...ONLY IF YOU BACK OFF NOW....
Yes it will get better....
I agree, you probably would be well served talking to a therapist...I know I did a few times...and she pointed out to me when she saw H and I together (something I made H do) that when I was all weepy, sad, needy, and desperate that I was not attractive...no one wants a leach...they want a partner...she also told me to stop acting like I was H's mother...like you I took care of the bills, the money, the travel arrangements, reminded him to call his mother, brother, sister....get the picture???...Sound a wee bit familiar???...She told me my husband was grown up and that I should just let him take care of things...if he didn't it was NOT MY PROBLEM...she said I needed to take care of MY BUSINESS...
So that is what you need to do...no need to make an announcement about it....next time he has a missed appointment, or travel or what ever...and IF he even says anything to you....just tell him you thought he would be taking care of his own arrangements now...if someone calls and leaves a message with you...write it down and leave it where he will see it....just like any other employee would do taking a message...they wouldn't go hunting the boss down, calling all his numbers, or confronting him and asking him a million questions...
So now you have two experience veterans....me and 1210...telling you not to ask about the trip to parents, leave a note for him....probably best for you to bow out...this would be a 180 for you....as for Vegas...invite a friend or go alone...don't bother mentioning it to him....and HAVE A WONDERFUL TIME....
Today is the day you MUST MAKE IMPORTANT CHANGES....THIS WILL GIVE YOU HOPE....
My husband said worse things to me...believe me my heart was crushed...I couldn't imagine my life without him and at the same time I couldn't imagine him ever wanted to be with me again..
Life is really tough sometimes...it is what we learn from life that makes us who we are...you have the opportunity to learn so much about yourself and what you are truly capable of....you have the chance to become someone who is truly wonderful and great....and whom your H may take a second look...
You MUST stop being needy, clingy, questioning....
And you really need to get over this
"Sometimes I wonder if I just need to say either we're going to work on this or we're going to end this NOW (my impatience), as this being in limbo without any known end in sight is absolutely horrible..."
As long as you keep this impatience in your life you are going to blow it!...To give him an ultimatum now is as good as going and filing for divorce....
Ask yourself....would I rather NEVER have H back in my life and move on....or CAN I be patient for now and see what H wants in the future...
Like my H told me....I kept asking him if he thought about us, if we had any chance at all....on and on and on and on....finally he said well maybe in 10 years...when I balked at that and said I didn't want to wait 10 years to find out if we had a chance he said well I am sure in 5 years you would have an idea....in other words....BACK OFF!!!
