Just some journalng thoughts..of course I knew I would not get anything..and I didn't..h did call be about our video club..I thought it was tonight but it is next week..sadi he would have to see, as he was going to some training class for our church...did not know what time he would get home..I don't think he really wants to do the "things" with me that we used to and that he said when he moved out that we could continue to do..he must like being by himself...or maybe he is not by himself..he took his ring off was that so he could pretend he isn't still married and maybe oick someone else up??Or is the whole plot that I thought months ago about ff just using this new guy as a cover, and now that my h has moved, that they are together..oh boy I am letting these bad thoughts come into my life again..for 3 months I have felt pretty good..when h sat here telling our kids about him leaving and the tears flowing...about how he would do anything for all 3 of us..and that if he came over and I let him spend the night...that his moving out did not mean d, that he had to get himself back again..that the two of us had to get to know each other again..was it all crap...I can't( or don't want to) believe that...he really is a decent man..how is he going to get to know me again if he won't come around much..won't call me to go out alone with him...can't even ask me how things are..how was work Sue...yes he called last Fri.and felt like pizza, came over and I ordered it..was it becasuse he did not want to order at his apartment or because he wanted to be with me? I know I am just venting...3 months gone and I should not expect it to be fixed...it really has been about a year of the real distancing..and almost 2 years of "something is not right in this m", so we really did not start the piecing process until Nov..I will close now and digest my feelings and know that there have been very little signs of positive things... Sue
