Take all you can get. I got a kiss or should I say peck last night after H came to shovel driveway and we had dinner. Tonight he's coming over to see his EXW to talk about son's rehersal dinner.
Thanks for stopping by..nothing new...I so want to call h and just say hi, but I am not going to..help me out with Valentines day...for 24 years I have gotten a card for h, as he has for me, except for last year he did not, and I have way have decided I was not going to this year..will that say to him that I have given up, don't care, take a hike??? I feel so torn...24 years..silly to feel that way about a stupid card..but they mean so much to me..Help!!! Sue
I know what you mean . I am trying to stay grey at least and not call. I always buy H a tie (he has a great collection that I have given him over ther years. It's one of his prides and joy!) I bought one and I will give it to him on Sunday when he comes for dinner with S and future DIL. I will also have gifts for them.
Good morning Sue, I think Bob's idea of a "Thinking about you" card is appropriate. It does let him know he is in your thoughts without the pressure of any expectations in the traditional context.
As far as being on the receiving end, in order to avoid being let down, try to base your expectations on what happened last year. I know its not what you desire, but the up side will be, if he then does spring something on you, it will be a genuinely pleasant surprise.
Have a much needed day off..we also get next Monday off...I did get a Valentines day card, wuth a heart in the front and inside it says "have a great day"..i am going to sign it Love.. Oh I know I won't get anything in return..although I did not expect anything for Christmas and got something..who knows..h also should know that getting ravishing gifts on holidays is not my thing..roses, I could care less...he knows what kind of flowers I love..but has only sent flowers a few times in 24 years...My fairy tale day would be to get a big bouquet with a note that says"I know things have been tough..thanks for hanging in there".I don't know if I would ever want an apology from him for what he is feeling and why he felt he had to leave, but I would like some acknowledgement for understanding.. But..that is only my fairy tale dream...I seem to need that hope that it will work out eventually..yet I struggle with the "what if it doesn't" feeling sometimes..since he seems to be coming around a tiny bit..I get hope..then he takes ring off and I get a mixed feeling.. I am venting and probably repeating myself..again..sorry..my daughter says i sometimes just like to hear myself talk!! have a great resat of the day..i am going to go and work on my quilting..for a change.. Sue
Happy Valentines Day ...called h yesterday to tell him about our video club SAt. night, then told him I had a plate of cookies if he wanted to take out to church staff..he came by before I left last night and I had put his card on top of cookies..he at least took it..It had a little bear on front holdin two balloons floating up with "Valentine" written in one..on inside it said "You're fun to hang around with", and I signed it Love, Sue..so he can throw it away for all I know..I did what was in my heart. Gotta run Sue
Just some journalng thoughts..of course I knew I would not get anything..and I didn't..h did call be about our video club..I thought it was tonight but it is next week..sadi he would have to see, as he was going to some training class for our church...did not know what time he would get home..I don't think he really wants to do the "things" with me that we used to and that he said when he moved out that we could continue to do..he must like being by himself...or maybe he is not by himself..he took his ring off was that so he could pretend he isn't still married and maybe oick someone else up??Or is the whole plot that I thought months ago about ff just using this new guy as a cover, and now that my h has moved, that they are together..oh boy I am letting these bad thoughts come into my life again..for 3 months I have felt pretty good..when h sat here telling our kids about him leaving and the tears flowing...about how he would do anything for all 3 of us..and that if he came over and I let him spend the night...that his moving out did not mean d, that he had to get himself back again..that the two of us had to get to know each other again..was it all crap...I can't( or don't want to) believe that...he really is a decent man..how is he going to get to know me again if he won't come around much..won't call me to go out alone with him...can't even ask me how things are..how was work Sue...yes he called last Fri.and felt like pizza, came over and I ordered it..was it becasuse he did not want to order at his apartment or because he wanted to be with me? I know I am just venting...3 months gone and I should not expect it to be fixed...it really has been about a year of the real distancing..and almost 2 years of "something is not right in this m", so we really did not start the piecing process until Nov..I will close now and digest my feelings and know that there have been very little signs of positive things... Sue
sorry to admit in my pathtic state lately haven't done much reading but did just read your last post...
something you have to realize is that before you can get to know eachother again...first you must get to know yourselves..you have mentioned many times..not taking the time during your m to do things for yourselfs but simply living for the children..I'm sure that in doing so you lost a bit of yourselves...take the time now to get to know sue..who is sue...what does she like to do? what are her interests..hobbies...goals...ambitions...etc...it's never to late to start living for you...
what helped me along the way before h came home was to picture my life three possible ways
1 h comming home and us working this out...what was I doing and what was my life like
2 h not comming home..what was I doing and what was MY life like
3 h not comming home...me ending up with someone else...what was I doing and what was MY life like..
take some time to think about the answer to this question...list out the different scenarios and find the common thread..the what you will be doing...and work toward that...let that be your focus rather than focussing on the question of will he or wont he return.
in the movie jerry mcguire there is a sappy line..."you complete me" what a load of crap I think that line is...if you are not whole and need someone to complete you then you are not living ...if you need someone to complete you then you do not have anything to offer them in return.
yes I am a romantic I'm sure you can tell from my thread...but the fact of the matter is you must be whole..fill your life with things that YOU want to do..be the person you want to be...and others will be drawn to you!!
I understand many of your feelings. My H said all the same things to me. I'm not going anywhere. You'll see me all the time. Since he left I have seen him exactly six time. Like you, I wonder how can he just walk away and forget everything. But I have decided this is his issue. When he comes here I will make it fun and warm and loving. When he is not here I will not call him. This is about him. If he finds his way back wonderful. If not he's the loser.
or should I say peck 
last night after H came to shovel driveway and we had dinner. Tonight he's coming over to see his EXW to talk about son's rehersal dinner.
I know its not what you desire, but the up side will be, if he then does spring something on you, it will be a genuinely pleasant surprise.